Just My Luck

Beyond her beauty, can anyone explain the appeal of Lindsay Lohan?  That question has to be asked after seeing Just My Luck.  Released in the spring of 2006, it is, in a word, horrendous.  An alleged romantic comedy overindulging on fanciful flights of stupidity, it stars Lohan as the luckiest woman in the world.  She gets great discounts on hard-to-find dresses, she always wins money on scratch tickets (she finds more money literally at her feet), she has no problem landing dates with eligible bachelors or getting a cab right away and she works in public relations.  Basically, she can do no wrong.
 
That all changes when she kisses Chris Pine, the unluckiest guy in the world.  Prior to the pivotal smooch, he works a dead-end job at a bowling alley while looking like he walked off the set of Revenge Of The Nerds, if it were cast with Abercrombie & Fitch models.  He’s discovered this band, McFly, who have one ok song and not much else, who play gigs there.  Not certain is whether he’s an actual A&R guy (talent scout, maybe?) or an overly ambitious janitor.  Nevertheless, he’s desperately trying to get the attention of Faizon Love (think an unscary Suge Knight), a major music player always on the hunt for new talent.  The guy is so rich he scoops up dog shit with paper money.
 
Thanks to a quick succession of some completely preposterous moments, Lohan finds herself alone in a meeting with Love and she sells him on the idea of doing a masquerade ball/benefit for reasons that ultimately don’t matter.  (Translation:  I don’t remember.)  Immediately afterwards, her boss (Missi Pyle) informs her that they’re on a first-name basis.  As if.
 
This is one absurd event, this masquerade thing.  Ceiling dancers in sheets, anyone?  How about waiters on stilts?  At any event, Pine and Lohan somehow find themselves dancing together and, wouldn’t you know it, those crazy kids just have to make out right there on the dance floor without even so much as a proper introduction.  He’s wearing a mask so she has no clue what he looks like.  (How convenient.)  Come to think of it, where the hell is her mask?
 
Anyway, the minute the script tells them to swap mouth fluids for five seconds, everything is reversed.  Lohan becomes exceedingly and, it must be said, ridiculously unlucky and Pine inherits her incredible fortune.  While she watches her boss get arrested for making it with a male prostitute (didn’t stupid Lindsay realize why that guy is always so busy?) and ends up getting arrested herself, Pine throws himself in front of a car to spare the life of Love who, in a particularly gracious mood, is willing to hear the McFly demo CD Pine has handed him.  Lohan soon finds herself unemployed and without an apartment (it mysteriously floods).  She ends up moving in with her two beautiful co-workers (Samaire Armstrong and Bree Turner who both deserve better).
 
It goes without saying that McFly get signed, Pine gets a much ritzier apartment and for some strange reason, he stops wearing those glasses.  (Did I miss something or did he have laser eye surgery without me knowing?)
 
Lohan figures out what’s happened to her and decides to track him down, kissing a whole bunch of stunned but appreciative guys along the way.  (Pine snuck into the masquerade ball as a dancer (no, he wasn’t in a sheet) which is why she’s making out with all of them.)  After causing an embarrassing scene in a local restaurant, she’s saved by Pine who offers her his old bowling job.  They start hanging out and inevitably…well, you know.
 
Enough already.  This movie isn’t funny.  Nor is it romantic, intelligent, or interesting.  The characters aren’t believable and neither are the plot twists.  Simply put, it’s a complete waste of time.  And what’s the deal with the McFly plotline?  They must have one hell of an agent to get so much undeserved screen time in this mess.  I guess making a TV infomercial was too high brow.  Having heard their music, they are definitely not the hottest band in New York and need all the help they can get.  Too bland and unexciting.  Interpol, they’re not.
 
Which brings us back to Miss Lohan.  Honestly, she’s not very good here.  Was I supposed to hate her when things are always going great for her?  Was I supposed to feel sorry for her when her lottery hot streak suddenly stops?  I mean, please.  Her pitiful acting gives no indication, either way.  This nonsense is even worse than Herbie: Fully Loaded.  Talk about failing on practically every level.
 
10 years ago, the great Black Grape had an album out called Stupid, Stupid, Stupid.  It’s a perfectly succinct way of describing Just My Luck.
 
Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Friday, January 11, 2008
2:46 a.m.
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Published in: on January 11, 2008 at 2:46 am  Comments (1)  

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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. SHUT THE FUCK UP! LISTEN TO MORE THAN THE  SONGS IN THE MOVIE, WHICH ‘TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT’ IS AMAZING. DO SOME RESEARCH BEFORE YOU TRASH THEM YOU ASSHOLE. YOU KNOW NOTHING . McFLY HAVE WAY MORE THAN ONE GREAT SONG THEY BEAT THE Beatles IN BEING THE YOUNGEST BAND TO HIT #1 IN THE CHARTS. ALL OF THEM ARE UNDER 24 AND THEY ALREADY HAVE A GREATEST HITS ALBUM BY THE WAY THEY ARENT BREAKING UP EITHER. SO McFLY ARE EXCELLENT LOOK THEM UP BUY AN ALBUM LISTEN TO IT. THEY EVEN RUN THEIR OWN RECORD LABEL CALLED SUPER RECORDS. THEY SING AND PLAY AMAZINLY WITHOUT A DOUBT ONE OF THE MOST TALENTED BANDS.!! UNDESERVED SCREEN TIME, YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING. ID WATCH LISTEN TO READ ABOUT THEM WAY MORE THAN YOU YOU SO-CALLED BLOG IS UNDESERVERED. DAMN YOUR BLOG PISSED ME OFF PLUS THEY ARE HOT. THEY DONT NEED “ALL THE HELP THEY CAN GET” YOU DO.  DON’T YOU EVER TALK BAD ABOUT THEM AGAIN.


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