Grammy Observations & Unanswered Questions

1. What the fuck is happening with Billie Joe Armstong’s hair?
2. Andrew W.K. should sue Dave Grohl for stealing his look.
3. If Joe Satriani wins his lawsuit against Coldplay, will he be awarded their Song Of The Year Grammy as part of his compensation?
4. The Rock should never be allowed to tell a joke ever again.  “The Beatle Fighters”?  The I Kissed A Girl reference?  What a jabroni.
5. Why did Radiohead perform 15 Step, the only bad song on In Rainbows, instead of, say, Reckoner or House Of Cards?  That being said, it was a good performance.  Using a drum corps improved the arrangement.  And is it just me or were Thom Yorke and Jonny Greenwood the only members of the band who actually played?
6. Speaking of Thom Yorke, he needs a haircut.  So does T-Bone Burnett.
7. Robert Plant should never be seen in public ever again.
8. How is Morgan Freeman friends with Kenny Chesney?
9. How are Samuel L. Jackson and Justin Timberlake pals?
10. Speaking of Timberlake, he sounded great during the Al Green duet.
11. The Best New Artist trophy went to the wrong act.  Based on their performance, Sugarland should’ve taken it.
12. Kanye West needs to go to rehab to cure his addiction to whining.  While presenting the above-mentioned category, he complained about not being a past Best New Artist winner.  For the record, Kanye, you’ve won a grand total of 12 Grammys, including two this year.  So, shut up, you obnoxious douchebag.
13. U2’s new single, Get On Your Boots, is terrific, based on the band’s show-opening performance.
14. Whitney Houston looks horrible.  (Is that a botched facelift I see?)  And she sounded out of it.
15. Why are there so many performances and yet, so few awards presented during the televised portion?  It would’ve been nice to have seen Radiohead accept the Best Alternative Music Album award they so richly deserved.
16. Kid Rock’s set was so good, even my mom was impressed.  Dad?  Not so much.
17. Sweet Caroline?
18. The tribute to New Orleans was wonderful.  Lil Wayne, Allen Toussaint and company, take a bow.
19. Katy Perry never looks bad and she sounded good singing her biggest hit, but she needs dance lessons.
20. Stevie Nicks, call the cops.  Carrie Underwood stole one of your outfits.
21. Craig Ferguson was funny.  Someone give him a hosting gig, already.
22. The tribute to the late, great and sadly mistreated Bo Diddley was worthy of the pioneering axman.  T-Bone Burnett’s Diddleyesque playing on the second Robert Plant/Alison Krauss number was also a nice tribute.
23. All the substitute Four Tops were better than the lone original.
24. Alison Krauss is much lovelier with long hair.
25. Radiohead were robbed for Album Of The Year.  Again.
26. M.I.A. is a trooper.  Nine months pregnant and still ready to perform?  That’s gangsta.
27. The recording industry lost so many important people this year including George Carlin, Bo Diddley, two Jimi Hendrix drummers and the guy who created the TV theme song (the best one ever) for The Andy Griffith Show. 
28. There’s new hope for the Middle East.  Blink 182 have reunited.
29. Too much rap, not enough rock.
30. Why was the audio so lousy?  Turn up the volume next time, will ya?  We’re getting old.
Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Monday, February 9, 2009
2:04 a.m.
Published in: on February 9, 2009 at 2:04 am  Leave a Comment  

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