2009 MTV Video Music Awards Observations

1. Kanye West is still an asshole.  Despite the death of his mother, tons and tons of criticism for his unchecked arrogance, and that South Park episode that he claimed had supposedly humbled him, the man couldn’t help himself when Taylor Swift’s I Belong To You video was named Best Female Video.  Right in the middle of her acceptance speech, the classless jackass seized the microphone from the stunned and gracious winner, and complained that Beyonce’s Single Ladies video was overlooked.  Once he was through, there was unmistakable booing from the crowd.  By the time Taylor got back to her thank you’s, MTV cut her mic and went to a lame Tracy Morgan/Eminem bit.  Disgraceful.
2. Billie Joe Armstrong must never ever dye his own hair again.  Stick with one colour, dude.  The half-hearted leopard deal is wack.
3. Madonna’s Michael Jackson eulogy was more self-serving, ass-kissy and defensive than moving.  Neglecting to mention Jackson’s lifetime of oddball behaviour, not to mention the way he screwed over Paul McCartney and The John Lennon Estate by outbidding them both for The Beatles catalogue in the mid 80s, Madonna made excuse after excuse for him.  Oh, he was a human being, he didn’t have a childhood, he was the subject of a witch hunt.  Blah blah blah.  Equally dismaying was the crowd’s enthusiasm for her nonsense.  By all means, praise his musical achievements.  Just don’t pretend he had honour or was normal.
4. It was over 20 minutes before the first Moonman was handed out.  Way to keep things moving.
5. Kanye West is still an asshole.  Every time his name was mentioned, a good portion of the audience booed him.  Too bad he wasn’t there to feel the love.  (According to Muchmusic’s Devon Soltendieck, he was escorted out of the building after his latest sickening display.  It’s a good thing, too.  He lost every award he was up for.  We would’ve never heard the end of it.)
6. It’s never a good idea to let an audience member sing any part of your hit song as Beyonce found out during her mostly engaging performance of Single Ladies.  Chances are, they’re not gonna hit the notes.  The excited blonde girl in the mosh pit provided the proof.
7. At one point during Single Ladies, Beyonce sings about wanting a man to take her “to infinity and beyond”.  Paging Buzz Lightyear.
8. Russell Brand finally got that unruly hair of his cut.  He looked good.  Now if only he’d calm down with the sex jokes and stop shouting.  He was very hit and miss tonight.  He was funnier last year.
9. What was with Pete Wentz and that Gabe Saporta T-shirt he was wearing?  (Saporta fronts Cobra Starship.)  Focus on your hot wife instead.
10. Was that shellac all over the chest of All-American Rejects singer Tyson Ritter’s chest?  Good luck washing that off.
11. Lady Gaga is the new Bjork.  Forget about that Swan number.  The Best New Artist winner offered no less than four costume changes, every one of them ridiculous.  My personal favourite:  the white bird’s nest around her face.  Comedians the world over are in heaven.
12. There was one terrific performance after another for a change.  Despite her nuttiness, Lady Gaga did a remarkably strong version of Paparazzi.  (The chick can belt it out.)  British sensations Muse made an impressive American Television debut, with lead singer Matthew Bellamy starting slow but quickly growing in confidence on Uprising.  Billie Joe Armstrong led Green Day through another solid performance as he got the crowd fired up by shouting “New York City” a lot and inviting far too many of them to join him on stage during the end of East Jesus Nowhere.  Pink’s Cirque De Soleil interpretation of Sober was rather nifty.  The always lovely Taylor Swift won me over with I Belong To You, which started out in the New York Subway before ending on top of a taxi right outside Radio City Music Hall.  Even the overly cocky Jay-Z (backed by a first-rate, high-heeled Alicia Keys) was entertaining.  The sense of danger made for some gripping musical numbers.
13. Jack Black’s appearance was hilarious.  You can’t go wrong with an impromptu prayer to Satan.  Or wearing fake muscles.  Or carrying an absurdly large weapon that the members of Green Day enjoyed goofing around with when they arrived on stage to accept their Best Rock Video award.
14. Speaking of Green Day, how did 21 Guns become eligible for a Moonman when it just came out a few months ago? 
15. One camera shot of Perez Hilton is one camera shot too many.
16. Beyonce is the epitome of class for allowing Taylor Swift to re-do her acceptance speech after Kanye (remember, he’s still an asshole) sabotaged it.  The elegant country star made the most of the moment.  Hard not to applaud the kind gesture that brought her back on stage.  The crowd’s standing ovation was more than appropriate.
17. The dance tribute to Michael Jackson was a waste of time.  A clip montage would’ve made more sense.  (Forget about copying the moves from the videos.)  Janet looked angry during Scream.  I’m sure Paul McCartney felt the same way.
18. What business does Serena Williams have being on a show like this?  Her awkward quip about her embarrassing US Open blow-up was far from funny.  It was downright appalling.
19. Cyndi Lauper still looks good.  Tracy Morgan amusingly honoured her hit, Time After Time, both on tape and live.  He should’ve been given more good bits since he wasn’t funny the rest of the time.
20. Late Night host Jimmy Fallon and SNL cast member Andy Sanberg were funny.  Even Beyonce enjoyed the homage to Boyz II Men.
21. Did we need yet another airing of that annoying Pitbull song?  Thank God it was brief.
22. Katy Perry should never be allowed to sing a Queen song again.  Stick with the lesbian number.
23. Who was that woman that joined Jay Z and Alicia Keys at the end of their song? (UPDATE: According to a couple of commenters on EW.com, it was Lil Mama.)
24. Was that Kid (from Kid N’ Play) standing next to Britney Spears?
25. We really needed to see two movie trailers?
26. The very cute Kristen Stewart looks better in long hair.  Grow it back, damnit.
27. Kid Cudi’s brief tribute to the late DJ AM was far more heartfelt than all the overwrought Jackson bullshit put together.
Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Monday, September 14, 2009
1:21 a.m.
UPDATE:  For what it’s worth, Kanye has apologized on his blog.
Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Monday, September 14, 2009
2:24 a.m.
UPDATE 2:  If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.  Kanye’s second apology, much shorter and to the point, is here.  (It has replaced the earlier, all-caps version.) If you can believe it, he’s on the premiere of The Jay Leno Show tonight which starts at 10.  Taylor Swift, who more than likely made a lot of new fans last night, will appear on tomorrow’s edition of The View.
Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Monday, September 14, 2009
3:59 p.m.
Published in: on September 14, 2009 at 1:21 am  Leave a Comment  

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