Courtney Cox, I’m Here For You

When Bruce Springsteen specifically chose you, I knew you were special.  It was 1984.  He was shooting his Dancing In The Dark video and needed a beautiful young woman to join him up on stage for an impromptu dance session.  Despite your boyish haircut, you were cute as a button in your Born In The USA t-shirt and blue jeans grooving with The Boss to the sweet sounds of Clarence Clemons’ saxophone and the rest of The E-Street Band.

26 years and many TV shows and feature films later, you haven’t stopped being lovely.  But times are tough and have been for some time.  Your 11-year marriage is in trouble.  As a result, you’ve announced your separation.  True, you’re not getting divorced but we both know this is one step closer to the inevitable.

Courtney Cox, I’m here for you.   Why go through this difficult time alone?  Sure, I’m a walking beanpole who’s unemployed and lives with his parents but I’m a caring beanpole.  And cuddly, oh so cuddly.  But brittle, so easy on the squeezing.

We could talk about better times in your life like how you were the best girlfriend Alex P. Keaton ever had (you look much prettier with longer hair) and how you were able to wipe the stink of the first Ace Ventura movie off your reputation to play your best role on Friends.  I have the first five seasons on DVD so we could watch them in order. 

If you have some dry cleaning to pick up, I’ll be your pretend husband so you can get that 50% discount.  And when we go out for pancakes, you can use my maple syrup.  (Note to self:  stock up on maple syrup.)

I’d compliment your performance in the Cougar Town pilot, the funniest episode of the series, and remind you that this younger guy would love to be your prey.  You could tell stories about your guest star appearances on The Love Boat, As The World Turns and Murder She Wrote.  And you could enlighten me about the fourth Scream (hopefully, it’ll be as good as the first two).  You’re wonderful as Gale Weathers and I’m looking forward to seeing you in that role again.

We could also goof on your husband’s poor film choices like Ready To Rumble, Never Been Kissed, See Spot Run, Airheads and Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  You could point out his faults over and over again and I would listen all day long. 

I could remind you endlessly of what he’s missing out on.  Your ageless sex appeal, good sense of humour, warm personality.  You know, being the best thing that’s ever happened to him.  But I wouldn’t want to bore you with my endless gushing.  Surely, you get that all the time, right?

Maybe this really will be a temporary split, as you say.  Maybe whatever disagreements you continue to have will be resolved during this time.  And maybe little Coco will be ok through this whole process, regardless of the outcome.

In the meantime, I offer you a two-line rhyme:

Don’t isolate yourself feeling like poo.
Courtney Cox, I’m here for you.

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Monday, October 11, 2010
11:56 p.m.

Published in: on October 11, 2010 at 11:56 pm  Leave a Comment  

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