No Confidence

Clouds of torment hang over my head
Raining down feelings of inescapable dread
Completely soaking in the misery of my thoughts
Feeling like a cooler placed next to the slots

Darkness follows no matter the path
Like a vengeful menace unleashing its wrath
Blocking the exits with an impenetrable fog
Daring you to proceed through the uncomfortable smog

The winds of manipulation shiver through my mind
Shackling my free will and raw emotion in kind
Blocking joyful inclinations at every turn
Like a homicidal dictator it delights in being stern

This demented bastard is squatting in my soul
Delighting in my dilemma as it seizes control
Reprogramming the wiring to suit its needs
Replacing a beautiful garden with bacterial weeds

Handcuffing my freedom just because it can
Cackling madly at the idea of me taking a stand
Knowing full well I’m in a weakened state
It’s like a corporate lobbyist bribing me to legislate

A hostile takeover is so clearly in the cards
If only I could get past its burly guards
But I’m powerless to counter with a righteous dissidence
And quietly harbour a feeling of no confidence

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Monday, August 29, 2011
8:25 p.m.

Published in: on August 29, 2011 at 8:27 pm  Comments (5)  

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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Holy moly, Dennis, some of your recent poetry is really depressing. I started following your blog earlier this summer because of your insightful thoughts on the Simmons-Tweed unreality show. I don’t know if you’ve been tormented for years or if something happened this summer that rattled you. Also, you’re exhibiting quite a bit of malice. None of this is good for you. You’re a young guy living in a beautiful country, life should be good, because as you’ve rather unkindly noted old age is rough ride. I don’t know what you’re up against, but it seems you’re battling demons of some sort. So I’d say stand your ground and don’t let anybody bully you off the field. You count as much as the next person; don’t cede yourself. If you get ousted or whatever, be clever like Steve Jobs was when he got booted from Apple, excel on another field and then return triumphant.

    Hoping you make it out of the dark side by the return of Simmons-Tweed in Oct…………

    • Despite some of my darker pieces, I can assure you I’m actually doing really well. I’m feeling good, the site has grown a bit in the last few months (thanks to loyal readers like you) and I’m in a much better place now. That being said, I feel that poetry is the best medium for venting (both seriously and comedically) and over the last few days I really needed to do that for my own sanity. Consider it a successful literary purging of the soul. If you pour through my archives not everything I post is quite so bleak, thankfully. It’s a real mix of honest thoughts and emotions, good and bad, high and low. I deeply appreciate all the supportive comments you’ve posted here (especially this one) and understand your concern. But you have nothing to worry about. By the way, I have a new music review up at Click on the Art section to find it as well as all my other movie and music reviews on that site. One last thing. Thanks for mentioning when Family Jewels returns. I didn’t know they bumped it from September. Thanks again for all the support. I’m going to take your words to heart.

      • This is off-topic, but the celebrity website TMZ reports that Simmons & Tweed are getting married October 1st in Beverly Hills. The site showed a wedding invitation. Now I’ve gone to the dark side…… your poem “Insufferable” (with a couple of modifications) is apt…..

  2. […] I read a very interesting comment that was posted on this website.  (It’s the third one on No Confidence.)  Yesterday afternoon, as noted by frequent commenter Flo, TMZ reported that Gene Simmons and […]

  3. […] commenter Flo to leave a very flattering note.  After posting a few darkly autobiographical poems, she very sweetly expressed deep concern for my well-being on one of them.  I tried to reassure her I was ok.  I just like writing in this style because the […]

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