My Penis Doesn’t Mind

She sweeps through the room like a summer breeze
Her smile alone could end the deepest freeze
All eyes are upon her whenever she passes
If only she could control her unbearable gasses
She blasts away to her heart’s content
It immediately hits you like a block of cement
When she makes me an offer it should be declined
My nostrils are appalled but my penis doesn’t mind

I met another beauty just the other day
Frolicking in a bikini that bordered on risque
Oozing sexuality from her every sweaty pore
But when she opened her mouth, what an incredible bore
She looked so beautiful not far from where I stood
But when she talked I thought I was listening to Margaret Atwood
She’ll cure your insomnia but what a behind
My brain’s falling asleep but my penis doesn’t mind

The world is filled with goddesses who pass you on the street
Like the mysterious brunette I was very happy to meet
She was lost in the city and hadn’t a clue where she was going
I was too preoccupied with the massive cleavage she was showing
Yet I helped her find her way and she gave me her number
Her personality didn’t put me into a really deep slumber
In just a short while, she had me clamouring for more
This instant physical attraction was becoming hardcore

We soon made arrangements to meet for a drink
As hard as I tried, I couldn’t detect a stink
She was friendly and flirty and loved to sneak a touch
Peppering the conversation with innuendos and such
She convinced me to join her for fun at her place
I never seemed to question the quickening pace
Within seconds of arriving, off came our clothes
She was exquisite perfection from her head to her toes

The sex was so good, I had an incredible sleep
For once, I didn’t feel like an unwanted creep
But when I awoke the next morning, I soon felt ill
She was nowhere in sight and had stuck me with the bill
She seduced me in a fog and I couldn’t call it
I discovered I was the owner of an empty wallet
How could I have been so unbelievably blind?
My pride is hurting but my penis doesn’t mind

Just when I thought I was all out of luck
A smoldering redhead helped me get unstuck
She was sweet and sympathetic to my tales of woe
She was in no hurry, she was happy to take things slow
We went out for dinner and were having a marvellous time
Until she started bragging about her life of crime
Breaking and entering, assault and battery
Yet I couldn’t resist her constant flattery

When the meal was concluded and all was said and done
She grabbed me by the hand and we were on the run
Mortified yet exhilarated within the same breath
I was absolutely certain this would all lead to my death
Whenever I was frightened she would reduce me to a puddle
A hardened criminal, I was surprised she liked to cuddle
But reality would catch up with us sooner or later
Life was so much easier when I was just a masturbator

Being a first-time offender I thought I would get off easy
But a fateful interrogation would soon make me queasy
Did she admit to all her transgressions?  Oh, quite the contrary
She pinned it all on me as she sang like a canary
She once was a sweetheart who made me feel strong
Now I was just a patsy she was looking for all along
As I’m doing time, I still long for her grind
My life is over but my penis doesn’t mind

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Monday, November 21, 2011
1:03 a.m.

Published in: on November 21, 2011 at 1:03 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. too funny!…………oh my……….

  2. […] all the poetic projects I showcased this year, none was more popular than My Penis Doesn’t Mind.  A lot of the credit for the slight uptick in hits that it has thus far accumulated (109 to date) […]

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