1. In The Engagement, why does Jerry’s restaurant date, Melanie, eat her peas one at a time but scoop her corn niblets?
2. In The Postponement, where was the Rabbi going before he ran into Elaine and convinced her to talk to him in his apartment?
3. In The Hot Tub, why didn’t Jerry offer Jean-Paul Jean-Paul the marathon runner his bed instead of his couch?
4. Why didn’t Elaine just directly complain to her neighbour herself about her noisy dog instead of trying to kidnap it and then getting the Rabbi to talk to the owner on her behalf?
5. Why does George briefly have a Ballzooka in his apartment?
6. Why didn’t George and new fiance Susan have make-up sex after his first attempt at postponing his wedding?
7. What was George’s second postponement attempt going to be before he broke down and cried?
8. What was Kramer, Elaine and Newman’s official punishment for getting caught kidnapping that constantly barking dog?
9. Why is Rabbi Kirschbaum in season seven named Rabbi Glickman in season nine?
10. Why is Ray, one of the gay thugs that bullies a terrified Kramer in The Soup Nazi, named Cedric in The Sponge?
11. How did Jean-Paul Jean-Paul do in the New York City Marathon?
12. Why is Rabbi Kirschbaum such a blabbermouth?
13. When Elaine is walking down the street looking for Jean-Paul Jean-Paul in her Himalyan walking shoes who is that person staring at her through that door window?
14. After Judy, Elaine’s next door neighbour (the single mom with a new baby), opens her door to talk to her, it’s about to close behind her when suddenly it mysteriously and quickly opens up wide again. How is this possible?
15. How was that yappy little dog that tormented Elaine able to find its way back home and so quickly without any assistance or a map?
16. What did Mr. Morgan, George’s former Yankee colleague, actually do and what was his job title?
17. In The Postponement, what did the redheaded woman want her boyfriend to do with her that made him put his foot down and made her weep uncontrollably?
18. Why does it matter so much to the AIDS walkers if Kramer doesn’t wear the red ribbon they’re wearing?
19. How did the Moviefone guy know about Kramer imitating him on his new phone number?
20. When Elaine writes a note on Susan’s behalf to let the missing George know they’re going to see the movie Chunnel with Jerry why didn’t she mention what theatre they were going to which would’ve saved the bald man a phone call?
21. What are the names of those dry pasta sculptures that Kramer made that you can see displayed behind him in his apartment in The Pool Guy?
22. In The Soup Nazi, why is the guy after Newman ordering Gazpacho when it’s not on the menu?
23. Who coined the term “Soup Nazi”, anyway?
24. Why do Jerry and his girlfriend Sheila call each other “schmoopie” all the time and who started that nonsense?
25. Why does Jerry’s leg fall asleep three times in The Secret Code but never in any other episode?
26. What killed J. Peterman’s mom?
27. Why was she so obsessed with George’s bank machine password, Bosco?
28. Why does the walking depressant Fred not remember much about Elaine?
29. Why didn’t Elaine or Kramer contact the police about her stolen armoire?
30. Why is there a rule forbidding Elaine and her fellow tenants from moving in items on Sunday?
31. Why didn’t The Soup Nazi remove all his soup recipes from his armoire before allowing Kramer to take it?
32. In The Gum, how can Jerry, a passenger in Lloyd Braun’s car, not hear George calling for him on the street?
33. How come George doesn’t always get free bread with his soup from The Soup Nazi?
34. Why does George keep buying gum when we never see him chew it?
35. How did George not know he had the 20 dollar bill with the doodle in his wallet the entire time?
36. What caused George’s old neighbour, Mr. Azzari, to have his nervous breakdown?
37. What did Mr. Azzari do under the front hood that led to the end of George’s ’83 LeBaron (the “Jon Voight” car)?
38. Why was The Royal Bakery, where Jerry and Elaine went to get that babka in season five, renamed Schnitzer’s in The Rye?
39. What does the early bird special that Jerry’s parents want to get to in The Cadillac cost after 6 p.m.?
40. How much money did Jerry make from that stand-up gig in The Cadillac?
41. How much did he pay for the Cadillac he bought his father, Morty?
42. In The Seven, how did Elaine get her neck fixed for the second time?
43. How does Elaine’s friend, Katy, know Marisa Tomei?
44. Is Christie, Jerry’s girlfriend in The Seven, really wearing the same black & white dress with the neck scoop every time they see each other or does she have a closet full of them? (Belated thanks to Joe Pants for this one.)
45. What in the hell is Mr. Wilhelm’s assignment for George?
46. What is wrong with Mr. Wilhelm in The Bottle Deposit and how did he end up doing George’s assignment for him?
47. How come Kramer and George are the only ones who complain about the hookers and shoddy service at Jiffy Park?
48. In The Wig Master, how much does Jerry pay for that blazer with the crest he hates?
49. In The Bottle Deposit, what happened to Kramer’s car steering wheel?
50. What does Carlo or Giuseppe Costanza import and export?
51. In The Friar’s Club, how did Connie not know Kramer was very much alive when her hand was on his neck?
52. In that same episode, how were those two goons able to get into Kramer’s apartment when she couldn’t even get him off of her to let them in?
53. Why does Ian, the British friend of Elaine’s ponytailed boyfriend, Craig, pronounce his name, “Eeenn”?
54. Why and when did Bob Saccamano stay with Kramer for a year and a half?
55. Why does Jerry have two VHS copies of the 1991 movie, True Colors, on his shelf?
56. Why does his stereo suddenly come to life when he walks past it in a scene in The Friar’s Club?
57. How come when Rob Schneider pees in the urinal it doesn’t make a sound?
58. What happened to the mechanic who stole Jerry’s car in The Bottle Deposit?
59. In that same episode, who is J. Peterman’s lady friend and where are they going?
60. Why and when did Elaine stop using diaphragms before switching to the Today Sponge?
61. How did Kramer get out of those tight jeans he wore in The Wait Out?
62. What is Susan’s new job?
63. Why did Kramer ever take baths in the first place if he now dislikes lying in “a tepid pool” of his own “filth”?
64. How did The Maestro not notice how warped his baton was long before commencing his performance?
65. Why didn’t Susan use Elmer’s glue to seal the invitations like George suggested in the stationary store?
66. Why isn’t The Soup Nazi’s Lima Bean Soup on the menu board?
67. In The Invitations, how does Kramer suddenly not know Susan’s name?
68. Why did Ramon the pool guy get re-hired by the health club?
69. Why is Kramer still doing his Moviefone schtick to George when the bald man clearly hangs up?
70. Why doesn’t George always get free bread with his order from The Soup Nazi?
71. Why is Elaine so fearless in confronting The Soup Nazi but can’t tell Jerry to his face that his “schmoopie” schtick with his girlfriend Sheila is deeply annoying?
72. Why are Commando showerheads only available on the black market but Commando air conditioners can be freely purchased in retail outlets?
73. Why doesn’t Elaine just show Peterman the poppy seed muffins and poppy seed chicken she consumed that caused her to flunk all but one of her urine tests?
74. Why did George change his mind about making that call to Susan?
(Special thanks to Rob Kerr.)
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Monday, April 1, 2013