A Better Way To Feel Bad

It doesn’t go down as easy as it should
It punishes your mind with a flood of shame
A once jolting escape is now elusive and rare
Replaced with a routine so bitter and tame

Years slip by with every committed sip
Another wave of sorrow at the flick of your wrist
Conning yourself into drowning some more
Until your name gets added to the forgotten list

Burning it down when the water’s too deep
The enveloping smoke can’t smother your grief
But the fire inside doesn’t erase the proof
So you yearn for another kind of relief

You cook it before you shoot yourself in the arm
More powerful than a bullet from an actual gun
An emotional laceration too intense to endure
Your persistent past too frenetic to outrun

As your guilt awakens you seek shelter in her bed
One of hundreds you’ve victimized and then cast aside
The heights you reach, a temporary release
Repeat performances never restore your pride

You can’t move forward when you’ve always been still
You can’t be enlightened when you’ve always been had
There’s no comfort to be found in your broken truth
Still searching for a better way to feel bad

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Sunday, November 8, 2015
4:09 a.m.

Published in: on November 8, 2015 at 4:09 am  Comments (1)  

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  1. […] childhood crush that turned out to be a total waste of time and energy.  Flames Of Resentment and A Better Way To Feel Bad, on the other hand, are self-explanatory works of […]

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