The History Of The Mystery Track – Friends Again Soundtrack

The title is perhaps a little too self-aware:  Friends…Again.

In November 1999, right in the middle of its sixth season on NBC, Warner Bros. released a second collection of songs connected to one of its biggest sitcoms.  It had been four years since the release of its predecessor and much had changed.  Ross and Rachel had gotten together (including a drunken impromptu Vegas wedding) and broken up a couple of times (including an eventual divorce).  Insecure Chandler found himself in the middle of a lusty affair with a once indifferent Monica.  An dimly arrogant Joey got fired from Days Of Our Lives.  And Phoebe became a surrogate mother for her Scientologist brother.

The alternative rock that blasted glam metal off the charts at the start of the 90s was now being replaced by a new wave of teen pop at its conclusion.  You would never know it from listening to Friends Again.  Influential legends like R.E.M. and Lou Reed have been replaced by commercial college rockers Smash Mouth and Semisonic.  Highly respected songwriters like k.d. lang and Joni Mitchell are cast aside for photogenic newcomers like Lisa Loeb and Duncan Sheik.  The Barenaked Ladies have been swapped for another Canadian alt-pop outfit The Waltons.  Despite the trades, most of the tunes on this sequel are decent toe-tappers.  Even forever unknowns like Deckard and 8Stops7 offer good studio performances.

Once again, uncredited dialogue clips from the show have been scattered throughout the CD.  (Some are funny, others are hit and miss.)  There’s no indication of this in the track listing on the back cover.  But when you open up the liner notes and look at the label side of the CD itself, the vague description “Friends Sound Byte” pops up six times in both places at the end of specific track numbers.  Furthermore, an advertising sticker placed on the cellophane of the front cover reads “Also includes bonus excerpts from the FRIENDS television show…”  However, there are two others not mentioned at all.  Plus, there’s an Unlisted Bonus Track on track 14.  Let’s go through all nine mystery tracks in chronological order.

The properly credited track one features Friends’ warm-up guy Jim Bentley introducing the six cast members to an enthusiastic studio audience response during an unspecified taping in 1999 as the instrumental version of I’ll Be There For You (the TV version) is heard prominently in the mix.  Right after it concludes at the 38-second mark, Rachel confides in Phoebe and Monica:

“Ross kissed me.

Phoebe:  No! [squealing with delight] Yes!  Yes!

Monica:  Oh my God!  Oh my God!  Oh my God!

Rachel:  It was unbelievable!

Monica:  Oh my God!  Oh my God!  Oh my God!  [audience laughter]

Phoebe:  Ok.  Alright.  We want to hear everything.  Monica, get the wine and unplug the phone.  [audience laughter]

Monica:  Ok.

Phoebe:  Rachel, does this end well or do we need to get tissues?

Rachel:  Oh, it ended very well.  [wine glasses clinking]

Phoebe:  Oh.

Monica:  Do not start without me!  [audience laughter]  Do not start without me!

Phoebe:  Ok.  Alright.  Let’s hear about the kiss.  Was it like, was it like a soft brush against your lips?  [drinks being pored] Or was it like a, you know, ‘I got to have you now’ kind of thing?  [audience laughter]

Rachel:  Well, at first it was really intense, you know, [more drinks being pored] and then [taking a breath], oh God, and then we just sort of sunk into it.

Phoebe:  Oh.  So, ok, was he holding you?  Or like was his hands like on your back?  [light audience laughter]

Rachel:  No, actually, first they, they started out on my waist, and then they slid up, and then they were in my hair.

Monica & Phoebe:  Oh.  [audience laughter]”

Then, while enjoying slices of pizza, Ross tells Joey & Chandler his perspective:

“And, uh, and then I kissed her.

Joey:  Tongue?

Ross:  Yeah.

Joey:  Cool.  [audience laughter]”

This scene begins three seconds into the eighth episode of the second season, The One With The List, and lasts for another minute and change.  Ross and Rachel’s momentous first kiss happens in the second-to-last scene of the previous episode, The One Where Ross Knows.  This aftermath scene plays out exactly the same way on the show as it does on the CD.

The next mystery track starts at 4:05 on track three:

“Chandler:  Ok.  Last night at dinner?  It’s like all of a sudden we were this couple, ok?  And this alarm started going off in my head, you know?  ‘Run for your life!  Get out of the building!’  [audience laughter]

Monica:  What is it with you people?  I mean, the minute you start to feel something you have to run away? [light audience laughter]

Chandler:  I know!  That’s why I don’t want to go tonight.  I’m afraid I’m gonna say something…stupid.

Monica:  [softly]  Oh, you mean like that guy thing where you act all mean and distant until you get us to break up with you?

Joey:  Hey, you know about that?  [audience laughter]

Chandler:  Look, what do I do?  I want to get past this.  I don’t want to be afraid of the commitment thing.  I want to go through the tunnel to the other side!  [audience laughter]

Joey:  Well, I’ve never been through the tunnel myself cuz, as I understand it, you’re not allowed to go through it with more than one girl in the car, right?  [turns to Ross who pretends to agree] [audience laughter]  But it seems to me it’s pretty much like anything else, you know.  Face your fear.  In this case, you have a fear of commitment.  So I say, you go in there and you be the most committed guy there ever was!  Go for it, man.  Jump off the high dive.  Stare down the barrel of a gun.  Pee into the wind!  [audience laughter]

Chandler:  Yeah, Joe, I assure you if I’m staring down the barrel of a gun I’m going to be pretty much peeing  every which way.  [audience laughter]”

This heavily edited sequence is taken from the fourth episode of the third season, The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel.  On the TV show, Chandler walks into Monica’s apartment with his black cordless phone ringing (what happened to the white one from season one?).  He wants Joey to answer it because he knows it’s his girlfriend Janice and he’s trying to get out of their date.  Joey refuses and the phone stops ringing.

After Rachel asks him, “What’s the big deal?  Why don’t you want to see Janice tonight?”, the CD version commences at 6:47 with Chandler talking about his previous outing with her at a restaurant.  In the TV show we get a clearer picture of what happened at dinner:  “….when the meals came, she put half her chicken piccata on my plate, and then she took all my tomatoes!  [audience laughter]”

Also not heard on the CD is Ross mocking Chandler for this while also trying to understand why this is such a big deal to him (“And that’s bad because you hate chicken piccata?  [light audience laughter]…You didn’t want to share your tomatoes.  Tomatoes are very important to you.  [audience laughter]”

To the first question, Chandler responds “No,” he doesn’t hate chicken piccata.  Then, we’re back to the CD version as he finishes the rest of his opening lines, minus an additional “No” that precedes “It’s like all of a sudden we were this couple…”

In another deleted portion not heard on Friends Again, a scoffing Rachel responds to Chandler’s paranoia:

“Ugh, men are unbelievable.  Janice just thought she was giving you chicken.  She didn’t think she was giving you scary chicken.  [audience laughter]”

Monica’s dialogue from the CD version is heard next but as Chandler responds on the actual episode he cuts himself off when he stares at Monica’s stuffed boob (part of her uniform working as a waitress at a 50s-themed diner where she later met wealthy Pete), understandably deleted because it’s a visual gag.  He then finishes the rest of his dialogue and Monica responds in the same way she does on the mystery track.  However, Rachel’s humming in agreement with her is cut from the CD.

After Chandler claims he wants to be a better boyfriend, just to make sure he understands the metaphorical tunnel, in another cut portion, Ross tells Joey, “Where’s there no fear of commitment.  [audience laughter]”

As Chandler turns around to ask Monica, “Do you have any [ideas]…”, he accidentally hits her fake boob with his open hand and after staring and pausing in embarrassment, he turns back to the boys, “Do we have any thoughts here?” in another understandably deleted section.

During Joey’s speech, there are a couple of lines not heard on the CD:

“You have a fear of heights?  You go to the top of a building!  You’re afraid of bugs.  [pause]  Get a bug.  [audience laughter]”

After Joey urges Chandler to be “the most committed guy that ever was”, Rachel’s deleted response is, “Amazingly, that makes sense,” as Monica softly moans in agreement, also excised.  Before Joey finishes the rest of his speech, his “Oh, yeah!” is missing from the CD, an insecure Chandler asks, “Do you think?” in another omitted moment.  The rest of the scene is exactly the same as it is on Friends Again.  Chandler would take quite a while to finally realize that fear of commitment isn’t the real reason his relationship with Janice is doomed.

Onto the next mystery track that begins at 3:05 of track five:

“Phoebe:  [chuckling]  That’s fine.  Go ahead and scoff.  You know, there are a lot of things out there that I don’t believe in.  But that doesn’t mean they’re not true.

Joey:  Such as?

Phoebe:  Like crop circles or the Bermuda Triangle or evolution.  [audience laughter]

Ross:  Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.  [chuckling in disbelief]  What, you don’t, uh, you don’t believe in evolution?

Phoebe:  I don’t know.  It’s just, you know, monkeys, Darwin, you know, it’s a nice story.  I just think it’s a little too easy.  Heh.  [audience laughter]

Ross:  Too easy?  The process of every living thing on this planet evolving over millions of years from single-celled organisms is, is too easy?  [light audience laughter]

Phoebe:  Yeah, I just don’t buy it.  [audience laughter]

Ross:  Uh, excuse me.  [chuckling]  Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe.  Evolution is scientific fact, like the air we breathe, like gravity.

Phoebe:  [chuckling]  Oh, ok.  Don’t get me started on gravity.”

This is taken from the third episode of the second season, The One Where Mr. Heckles Dies.  (Mr. Heckles, who originally had a different name in season one, was Monica & Rachel’s odd downstairs neighbour who thinks they make too much noise.)  After Heckles’ body is taken away from the apartment building, the gang gather back at Monica’s apartment.  Phoebe claims she can still “sense” his presence and yells at him to go towards the light.  The CD version of the scene begins at 4:21 of the TV show as she responds to the collective skepticism.  With the exception of a missing “Too” from Ross and the sound of a cookie dish sliding on the coffee table (both deleted from Friends Again), everything is exactly the same.

In the show, the scene continues with an incredulous Ross trying to understand why Phoebe doesn’t believe in gravity.  Then, they’re interrupted by Treeger the super and Heckles’ attorney who reveals that the solitary old man with no family and no money has left all his junk to Monica & Rachel.

While the gang realizes he was a bit of a hoarder (and a lot like Chandler when it comes to being picky about dating women) as they clean out his place, a peeved Ross continues to interrogate Phoebe about her anti-evolution stance.  When he later brings over his “suitcase of facts” that contains 200 million year old fossils to Monica’s kitchen, Phoebe gets the better of him by pointing out that she’s not actually against evolution, she just doesn’t think it’s the only answer.  Like a good defense attorney she gets him to admit that maybe, based on famous past scientific reevaluations, there’s a small chance he could be wrong.  “I can’t believe you caved,” she marvels.  An ashamed Ross, too stunned to speak, quietly walks out with his suitcase, and the subject is never brought up again.

The next Buried Audio clip appears at the 3:14 mark of track seven:

“Rachel:  I just wish we hadn’t lost those four months.  But if time is what you needed just to gain a little perspective.  [gently slaps his cheek as she ends her last line] [audience laughter]

Ross:  [yelling]  We were on a break!  [audience laughter]  And for the record, it took two people to break up this relationship!

Rachel:  Yeah!  You and that girl from the coffee place which yesterday you took full responsibility for!

Ross:  I didn’t know what I was taking responsibility for, ok?  I didn’t finish the whole letter!

Rachel:  What?

Ross:  I fell asleep!

Rachel:  [mocking]  You feel asleep?  [audience laughter]

Ross:  [exasperated]  It was 5:30 in the morning and you had rambled on for 18 pages!  [light audience laughter] [shouting]  Front and back!  [audience laughter]

Rachel [infuriated] Ohh.

Ross:  Oh, oh, oh and by the way, y-o-u-apostrophe-r-e means “you are”.  Y-o-u-r means “your”!  [audience laughter]

Rachel:  You know, I can’t believe I even thought of getting back together with you!  We are so over!

Ross: [pretending to be upset] [shouting]  Fine by me!  [audience laughter]

Rachel:  [shouting] Oh, oh, and hey, hey, hey!  Those little spelling tips will come in handy when you’re at home on Saturday night playing scrabble with Monica.

Monica:  [offended]  Hey!

Rachel:  Sorry.  [audience laughter]  I just feel bad about all that sleep you’re gonna miss wishing you were with me!

Ross:  Oh, no, no.  Don’t you worry about me falling asleep.  [shouting]  I still have your letter!  [audience laughter]

Rachel:  [shouting]  And hey!  Just so you know, it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy, and it is a big deal!  [audience laughter]

Chandler:  [shouting]  I knew it!”

One of the most famous Ross & Rachel scenes from the show, this very funny clip is taken from the end of the fourth season premiere, The One With The Jellyfish.  The reunited couple is in bed together cuddling when Rachel brings up the infamous letter she wrote at the beach house earlier in the show much to Ross’ annoyance.  The CD version begins at the 21:17 mark of the episode.

After Ross shouts his catchphrase, an entering Chandler asks Monica, “Coffeehouse?” To which she replies, “You bet.”  This exchange is not heard on the CD.  They don’t make it out the door because a now dressed Ross and Rachel continue their fight in the living room in the same manner they do on Friends Again.  Only the audience laughter at Chandler’s last line has been cut.

Moving on to track nine and the fifth hidden clip that starts at 4:31:

“Chrissie Hynde:  [singing and playing acoustic guitar]  Smelly cat/smelly cat/what are they feeding you?  [light audience laughter]

Phoebe:  [cutting her off, clears her throat]  No, no, no.  I’m sorry.  [clears her throat again] [singing]  It’s smelly cat/smelly cat.  [audience laughter]

Chrissie:  [clears her throat and tries again]  S-S-Smelly cat/smelly cat.

Phoebe:  [cutting her off again]  Better.

Chrissie:  Yeah?

Phoebe:  Yeah, much better.  Good.  And you know what?  Don’t, don’t feel bad because it’s a hard song.

Chrissie:  Yeah.  [audience laughter]

Phoebe:  Wanna try again?

Chrissie:  Yeah!  From the top?

Phoebe:  [a bit peeved]  Ok.  There is no top, alright?  [light audience laughter]  That’s, that’s the beauty of Smelly Cat.  [light audience laughter]  Um.  [clears throat]  Why don’t you just follow me?

Chrissie:  Ok.

Phoebe:  Mmhmm.

Phoebe & Chrissie:  [singing in unison & playing together] Smelly cat/smelly cat/what are they feeding you?  [Chrissie sings high harmony]  Smelly cat/smelly cat/it’s not your fault.  [Chrissie quickly strums guitar and stops]

Phoebe:  That’s too much.  [audience laughter]

Chrissie:  Sorry.”

The longtime leader of The Pretenders (who appear on both the Friends soundtrack and Friends Again) plays Stephanie Schiffer, a rival musician who plays one paid gig at Central Perk, much to a jealous Phoebe’s dismay.  (Hynde does a solo acoustic version of the song heard on the earlier CD collection, Angel Of The Morning.)  The scene where Phoebe tries to teach her her signature song is the coda of the episode starting at the 24:17 mark.  It’s exactly the same as it is on the CD.

Right after the mystery track on Friends Again, still on track nine, Hynde starts counting into the next listed track, a double take on Smelly Cat.   First, we get a vocal reversal of the mystery track version (Kudrow as Phoebe doing the high harmony this time), followed by a quick, full-band, punky version.  When it’s over, Phoebe is still not impressed with her.

The sixth mystery snippet is on track eleven and begins at the 4:37 mark:

“Chandler:  Ok, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about us, you know, a lot of, uh, ‘us’ thinking, and uh, well I guess there’s only one way to do this.  [gets on one knee, light audience laughter]

Monica:  [concerned] What are you doing?

Chandler:  Monica…

Monica:  No, no, no.  Don’t, don’t, don’t do it.

Chandler:  Will you marry me?  [women in the audience squeal with delight]

Monica:  [softly]  Chandler, why are you doing this?

Chandler:  I’m doing this because I’m sorry?  [audience laughter]

Monica:  Do you, um, do you really think the best reason to get married is because you’re sorry?

Chandler:  Oh, no.  The best reason to get married is pregnancy.  [chuckles] [audience laughter]  Sorry’s pretty much fourth, you know, behind being ready and actually wanting to get married.  [laughs, audience laughter]  [deadpan]  Will you be my wife?  [audience laughter]

Monica:  Do you know that none of that stuff came from me?  I mean, I never said that I wanted to have babies and get married right now.

Chandler:  Yeah, I know.  But I was really confused.  And then I talked to these guys.

Monica:  Who?  Two divorces & Joey?  [audience laughter]

Ross:  [offended]  Hey!

Joey:  She’s right, you know?  [audience laughter]

Ross:  [whining]  Yeah, but still, cheap shot.  [audience laughter]

Monica:  You know when I said that I want you to deal with this relationship stuff all on your own?  Well you’re not ready for that.

Chandler:  [loudly relieved]  I didn’t think I was!  [audience laughter]

Monica:  Oh my God.  [chuckling]  What would you have done if I said yes?

Chandler:  Well, I would’ve been happy because I would’ve been able to spend the rest of my life with the woman that I love.  [pause]  Or you would’ve seen a Chandler-shaped hole in that door.  [audience laughter]”

At the 19:22 mark of the fifth season episode, The One With The Girl Who Hits Joey, a desperate Chandler, still wracked with deep insecurities about being a committed partner in his most serious relationship, makes his first attempt at proposing to Monica.  Earlier on in the episode, Chandler realizes he’s not ready for marriage or fatherhood.  Monica storms out on him when he claims they’re in a “casual” relationship.  Ross stupidly advises him he needs to make a “big gesture” to win her back.

In the actual episode, the fifteenth of that year, the women in the audience squeal twice, the first time when Chandler gets down on one knee.  Only the second reaction is heard in the clip on Friends Again.  Joey’s comment, “What a bad idea,” and Rachel’s, “Oh, I can’t not look at it,” have also been deleted from the CD version.

When Monica asks Chandler, “Why are you doing this?” his first response is only heard on the TV episode:

“I don’t know.  [audience laughter]  But I know I’m not afraid to do this.”

After Chandler proposes, Monica kneels down with him and says, “Chandler, umm, I want you to take just a minute and I want you to think about how ridiculous this sounds.”  An embarrassed Chandler replies, “Yeah, I’m kinda wishing everyone wasn’t here right now.  [audience laughter]”  All of this was cut out of the CD version including Monica calling him “honey”.  The rest of the scene plays out exactly the same in both versions.  Chandler, of course, would eventually get it right with his final proposal to her at the end of season six, one of the most touching moments in the show’s history.

Another unlisted excerpt is heard beginning at 3:47 on track twelve:

“Joey:  Hey Ross, will you pass me that knife?

Ross:  [pretending to be defiant]  No, I will not!

Joey:  [taken aback]  Oh, it’s ok, you don’t have to be so mean about it.

Ross:  You’re right.  I’m sorry.  Will you marry me?  [Rachel laughs hard, audience laughter]

Phoebe:  Aww, and I was gonna ask you to marry me because I forgot to say hello to you last week.  [audience laughter] [Joey chuckles]

Rachel:  Oh, no, wait, Pheebs.  I think for something like that you just ask them to move in with you but I’m not sure.  Chandler?  [light audience laughter]

Chandler:  [chuckling, getting a little annoyed]  Ok.  How long is this gonna go on?

Monica:  [chuckles]  Well, I think the length of teasing is directly related to how insane you were so, a long time.  [audience laughter, Rachel & Phoebe laugh]

Ross:  This is fun.  Ah, hey, Rach, remember that whole ‘we were on a break’ thing?  Well, I’m sorry.  Will you marry me?  [Ross laughs] [audience laughter]

Everybody but Ross:  That’s not funny, man!  [audience laughter]”

This is the coda scene from the same episode that happens right after Monica and Chandler make peace following his botched proposal.  Beginning at the 21:28 mark, it takes place at Central Perk and is exactly the same as it is on the CD.

The last mystery clip begins at 3:41 on track thirteen.  After 21 seconds of silence following The Waltons’ Beats The Hell Out Of Me, we’re back at Central Perk for another performance:

“Phoebe:  [quietly strums guitar and sings]  I found you in my bed/How’d you wind up there?  [audience laughter]  You are a mystery/Little black curly hair  [audience laughter]  Little black curly hair/Little black/Little black/Little black/Little black/Little black curly hair  [holds last note while lowering the volume] [stops singing] [audience laughter and applause] [talking]  Thank you.”

That’s right.  Phoebe is singing about a pubic hair.  Ross picked the wrong time to eat cake.

This memorable clip is taken from the third episode of the sixth season, The One With Ross’ Denial.  The TV version begins at 18:37 (the guitar intro is one second longer and actually starts right at the end of Monica and Chandler’s fight over his Merge sign in the bedroom idea).  After she finishes her song (screenwriter Seth Kurland wrote the lyrics while Lisa Kudrow composed the melody), Phoebe tells the customers, “Now if you want to receive emails about my upcoming shows then please give me money so I can buy a computer.”  This part was cut from the CD.

Ode To A Pubic Hair (the actual title of the song) was referenced three years later in the ninth season episode, The One With Ross’ Inappropriate Song.  Phoebe mentions it along with Pervert Parade during her awkward dinner with Mike’s parents.

Friends Again concludes with two versions of Friends ‘Til The End (I’ll Be There For You), both performed by Thor-El (is that a Superman pun?), also known as Almighty Thor.  A longtime collaborator of KRS-ONE, he’s the lone rapper in this otherwise pop/rock Caucasian collection.  The first version, track thirteen, is properly credited.  The second, track fourteen, is not.

Despite being a remix overseen by KRS-ONE (who is credited for it and acknowledged in the liner notes), it’s really not that much different from the regular mix, nor is it an improvement.  Sampling the hook and The Rembrandts singing the chorus of the original TV theme (now backed by female back-up singers), Friends ‘Til The End is faster paced but far more annoying, like the protagonist in the song who can’t stop mooching off his buddy.  Thor-El, who wrote all his rhymes, sounds a little too much like DMX’s younger brother and not in a good way.

Unlike the original Friends Soundtrack, Friends Again failed to find much of a following.  Despite the later emergence of three additional releases, it would be the last CD from the show to feature uncredited material.

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Sunday, December 8, 2019
6:09 p.m.