1. The murder of Washington Post columnist Jamal Khashoggi. For years, he was a longtime confidant and unapologetic spokesman for the House of Saud. Then, in 2016, he publicly criticized then-Presidential candidate Donald Trump, a fateful decision that so angered Crown Prince Mohammed Bin Salman that Khashoggi was effectively censored. He never appeared in the Saudi Arabian media ever again. Relocating to America, he began to turn on MBS, writing critical column after critical column. While visiting the Saudi Arabian embassy in Istanbul, Turkey to obtain a marriage license, he was tortured and cut into pieces by goons hired by MBS to take him out. His remains have never been found. Although there was some political fallout and boycotting by numerous major companies and celebrities, MBS was never punished for ordering the hit.
2. Anthony Bourdain, the host of CNN’s Parts Unknown, killed himself.
3. Donald Trump’s horrendously cruel child separation policy for refugee families. Chaotically implemented, it has already traumatized innocent people desperate to escape the dangers of their own countries, dangers directly caused by successive American governments, not to mention the preventable deaths of 2 young children. White supremacy and capitalism go hand in hand.
4. The California wildfires. Climate change is the apocalypse.
5. Steel City Video closed after 30 successful years in business. The Hamilton, Ontario stable supplied me with so many movies over the decades I lost count. I wonder who bought all their porn.
6. Brett Kavanaugh was confirmed as a Supreme Court Justice despite his dishonest, belligerent testimony and numerous accusations of sexual harassment and assault by women, including Christine Blasey Ford, the only victim allowed to appear during a hearing. We learned nothing from Clarence Thomas and Anita Hill.
7. Gina Haspel became the new CIA Director. Torture cover-ups get you promotions in the Trump Administration.
8. Hulk Hogan was welcomed back to the WWE three years after being exposed as an anti-Black racist. He hasn’t changed.
9. The Toronto van attack.
10. Prince Harry’s wedding. Who gives a shit?
11. Kraftwerk were once again not inducted into The Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame. The band’s massive widespread influence led to the phenomenal rise of EDM and Hip Hop, the top two genres in modern popular music. So, why do they continue to be disrespected?
12. Life Of The Party. The worst film of the year. Melissa McCarthy is the new Chris Farley, wasting her career on dumb, insulting slapstick.
13. Raise Vibration by Lenny Kravitz. We waited four years for this boring garbage? The love revolution is putting us to sleep.
14. Roman Reigns announced he was once again diagnosed with leukemia, forcing him to forfeit the Universal Championship. May he once again recover and live to Superman punch another day.
15. Twitter locked my account for a day because I was retweeting too much about the US midterm elections. To their credit, they did apologize twice and let me back in.
16. Jian Ghomeshi’s self-serving essay. He’s not a victim. He’s a rapist. He deserves his obscurity.
17. The Kurt Angle/Jason Jordan father/son angle. Despite this nonsense leading to Jordan winning his first championship (the Raw tag titles with Seth Rollins), it did not get him over with the fans. Then he got hurt. Who’s pining for his return?
18. Kanye West’s ignorant statement on TMZ Live where he claimed that “slavery was a choice”. He also briefly vouched for President Trump (which led to an embarrassing, meandering White House visit) and even wore his stupid Make America Great Again hat. When he stops making hits, he’ll finally go away.
19. Blade Runner 2049 was not nominated for Best Picture. One of the best sequels ever made. The motion picture academy does not understand the importance of science fiction.
20. The Dynamite Kid died. Shawn Michaels, CM Punk, Bret Hart, Dean Ambrose, Seth Rollins and a whole bunch of luchadores owe the British legend a huge debt of gratitude for making the small man larger than life in the squared circle. If only his personal life was as honourable.
21. Doug Ford’s Conservatives won the Ontario election. This doesn’t end well.
22. Mark Lamont Hill was fired from CNN for defending Palestinians and opposing Apartheid Israel’s illegal ongoing occupation during a speech at the UN. Former AIPAC spokesman Wolf Blitzer wrote a whole book demonizing Arabs and Rick Santorum doesn’t believe Palestinians actually exist but their jobs are safe. Racists are always protected by capitalism and white supremacy.
23. The uselessness of Primus Canada customer service. Putting you on hold for an hour without talking to you. Not taking responsibility for their slow-ass dial-up service which wasn’t always this slow and unstable connection that cuts in and out. Pretending to solve the problem when nothing has changed. A total waste of time.
24. George A. Romero died. Night Of The Living Dead is still timely and relevant.
25. The Edmonton Oilers failed to qualify for the Stanley Cup Playoffs. Again.
26. The cancellation of Ontario’s updated sex-ed curriculum and guaranteed basic income experiment by Doug Ford’s Conservative government, the latter of which he promised not to do. He doesn’t care about the poor, LGBT folks, FN or people of colour.
27. Game Night. Not scary enough to be a thriller. Not funny enough to be a comedy.
28. Facebook ended its partnership with Twitter to allow users to send tweets to their profile page. No wonder my hits are way down.
29. Serena Williams’ embarrassing temper tantrum during the US Open Final. It took away from a historic victory for new champion Naomi Asaka, the first Asian-American woman to ever win the tournament.
30. Aretha Franklin died.
31. The draconian anti-sex trafficking bills FOSTA and SESTA became law. Sex workers can no longer depend on the Internet to safely screen clients and police are having a much harder time catching actual sex traffickers. The incoming House Democrats should repeal them both and decriminalize sex work.
32. All the mass shootings in America. What’s it going to take to end toxic masculinity?
33. The Humboldt Broncos bus crash. Preventable and horrifying.
34. Fire And Fury: Inside The Trump White House & Fear: Trump In The White House. Too much gossip about a complicated idiot, not enough dissection of destructive policies and lifetime judicial appointments which are far more important.
35. Gitmo is still open.
36. The Canadian postal strike. May it be resolved early in the new year.
37. Whistleblower Reality Winner was pressured into taking a plea deal rather than take her chances in court which could’ve led to a decades-long sentence. She’ll serve five years for leaking to The Intercept. Abolish the Espionage Act.
38. The Catholic Church child abuse cover-ups. Thousands of victims in multiple parishes, not a lot of accountability or convictions. Why does Pope Francis continue to delay structural reforms?
39. Jair Bolsonaro, the fascist homophobe and misogynist, once an outlier on the extreme right, was elected President of Brazil. Oh, and he doesn’t believe in climate change so good-bye Amazon rainforest.
40. Nikolai Volkoff died. No more stirring renditions of the Soviet National Anthem from the Croatian-born grappler and former world tag team champion.
41. The restoration of the Iran sanctions by President Trump. They’ve always honoured the nuclear deal. But the neocons in his administration are itching for war. Bad news for world peace.
42. The WWE’s despicable association with the House of Saud. First, there was the Greatest Royal Rumble which took place despite the atrocities in Yemen. Then came Crown Jewel which went on as scheduled even after Jamal Khashoggi’s murder. The show was hosted by the bigoted Hulk Hogan and featured Shawn Michaels in his first match in eight years. So much for honouring a retirement storyline. And so much for caring about human rights.
43. Ryan Seacrest didn’t get fired from his many jobs despite harassing and assaulting his former stylist who was fired for reporting him. George Takei claimed exoneration after a questionable article written by an author who sang his praises in a book. Michael Weatherly hasn’t lost his job playing Bull despite being caught on film harassing fired co-star Eliza Dushku and was actually defended by two women who worked with him on NCIS. There are many other examples too numerous and depressing to mention. The bottom line is this. #MeToo hasn’t changed anything.
44. All the other bad films I saw released this year: Mom And Dad, Unfriended: Dark Web, Day Of The Dead: Bloodline, Upgrade, The Endless, The First Purge, Death Wish, Winchester, Insidious: The Last Key, The Strangers: Prey At Night, Blumhouse’s Truth Or Dare, Fifty Shades Freed and Hotel Transylvania 3.
45. All the other awful movies I saw this year: Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul; Goon: Last Of The Enforcers; Failure To Launch; CHIPS; The Boss Baby; Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie; Uncle Buck; Hoodwinked; Blades Of Glory; Rough Night; Hide And Seek; Frankenweenie; The Ant Bully; A Return To Salem’s Lot; The Croods; Snatched; The House; Are We Done Yet; Missing In Action; Hitch; The Emoji Movie; A Million Ways To Die In The West; The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature; Shutter; Red; Red 2.
My Little Pony: The Movie (1986 & 2017); Society; Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie; Kick-Ass; Kick-Ass 2; Despicable Me; Despicable Me 2; Despicable Me 3; Minions; Cocktail; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014); Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out Of The Shadows; The Bye Bye Man; The Smurfs; The Smurfs 2; Smurfs: The Lost Village; The Chipmunk Adventure; Alvin & The Chipmunks; Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel; Alvin & The Chipmunks: Chipwrecked; Alvin & The Chipmunks: The Road Chip.
Amityville: The Awakening; Ducktales The Movie: Treasure Of The Lost Map; Sausage Party; The Peanuts Movie; A Boy Named Charlie Brown; Snoopy Come Home; Run For Your Life, Charlie Brown; Jigsaw; Kung Fu Panda; Kung Fu Panda 2; Kung Fu Panda 3; Mr. Peabody & Sherman; G.I. Joe: Retaliation; Middle School: The Worst Years Of My Life; The Brothers Grimsby; Keanu; The Interview; Delivery Man; 17 Again; When The Bough Breaks; Father Figures; A Thousand Words; Joe Versus The Volcano; Creepshow; Creepshow 2.
Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (Super-Sized Version); Dead-End Drive-In; Strictly Business; Trailer Park Boys; Trailer Park Boys: Countdown To Liquor Day; Trailer Park Boys: Don’t Legalize It; Pete’s Dragon (1977); The Man; Jeepers Creepers 3; #Horror; But I’m A Cheerleader; Razorback; Bad Moon; Crawlspace; Seven Chances; The Garbage Pail Kids Movie; Warlock: The Armageddon; Repossessed; The SpongeBob Squarepants Movie; The SpongeBob Movie: Sponge Out Of Water; White Of The Eye; Summer School.
Hide And Go Shriek; Parents; Abbott And Costello Meet The Mummy; The Other Side Of The Door; A Woman’s Torment; Frankenhooker; 47 Meters Down; Children Of The Corn; Children Of The Corn II: The Final Sacrifice; The Car; Bad Words; Pitch Perfect; Pitch Perfect 2; Pitch Perfect 3; The Final Girls; Satanic; Office Christmas Party, The Star; Four Christmases; National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation; Red Heat; Zombie Strippers!, XXX: Return Of Xander Cage and Martin.
46. Margot Kidder committed suicide. The definitive Lois Lane, a Bernie Sanders supporter and an all-round delightful character. Mental illness is a cancer on our society, especially our creative community.
47. The whitewashing of John McCain and George H.W. Bush’s political record because they died. War criminals don’t deserve penance or reputational protection from their millionaire friends in the media. They deserve endless scorn and ridicule for all the innocent people they tortured and murdered.
48. The Twitter purge. Leftists and sex workers need more protection from white supremacy and corporate censorship.
49. Premier Doug Ford used the Notwithstanding Clause of the Canadian Constitution to reduce Toronto City Council from 47 seats to 25. Pure pettiness with surely more to come.
50. Dolores O’Riordan, Steven Bochco, Steven Hawking and John Mahoney all died.
51. Monday Night Raw & Smackdown Live. Bad announcing, pitiful storylines, questionable political associations. The highly hated Enzo Amore aside, they’re still protecting abusers and creeps that can draw. I can spend these five hours every week doing something less offensive.
52. The ongoing persecution of Julian Assange and the restriction of his rights in the Ecuadorian Embassy. Yes, he’s a maddening figure for many reasons but even he doesn’t deserve this torture. Exposing government crimes is crucial for democracy to function.
53. The CIA torture report has still not been released.
54. Elizabeth Warren falsely claiming she’s part Indigenous. Nope. What you really are is cannon fodder for Donald Trump if you win the Democratic Presidential nomination in 2020. Bernie can still win.
55. All the Facebook scandals. Fuck Zuck.
Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Monday, December 31, 2018
8:04 p.m.
The History Of The Mystery Track – R.E.M. Covers The Clique
“I love records that intrigue me, that keep me guessing. Rock ‘n’ roll’s basically all about mystery.”
Peter Buck, 1986
In the final week of 1977, a young college student started working for a local record shop in Georgia. Wuxtry Records, an independent store operating in the college town of Athens, had just opened the previous year. In 1978, they would open a second location in nearby Decatur. Peter Buck, who was already thinking of dropping out, would eventually work in both.
A longtime audiophile, he became obsessed with obscure recordings by long forgotten artists of the past. Two years into his tenure, a young guy walked in with two beautiful women on his arms flipping through the racks. Buck thought he was just a ladykiller. But he later found out it was the man’s sisters.
Michael Stipe was a frequent customer of Wuxtry’s. Buck struck up a friendship with him and made sure to set aside some cool stuff he thought his new pal would like. They eventually talked about forming a band together.
One of the old 45s Buck was intrigued by was Sugar On Sunday, a 1969 single by a short-lived Texas band called The Clique. It reached as high as #22 on the Billboard Hot 100. It would be their only radio hit and they didn’t even write it. It was a cover of a Tommy James & The Shondells song, originally an album cut from their 1968 release, Crimson & Clover.
When Buck flipped it over, he ended up preferring the B-Side. Now a full-time member of R.E.M. with Stipe, Mike Mills and the bassist’s former bully, drummer Bill Berry, he was actively looking for songs that would make decent covers for live shows. He gave Mills a copy. They planned to work out their own arrangement.
But as the band was starting to write its own material, their priorities shifted. Beyond live performances and the occasional B-side for their eventual IRS singles, the idea of remaking old songs was mostly abandoned.
As the band’s critical reputation grew through the first half of the 80s, one important thing kept eluding them. What was it going to take to get them on mainstream radio? Already fixtures on college stations, most Top 40 and rock listeners didn’t know who they were. Yes, their low-budget videos were getting limited airplay on MTV and MuchMusic and yeah, they did Late Night With David Letterman. But there was no undeniable breakthrough. It also didn’t help that their independent record label IRS didn’t have the greatest distribution system. Their singles and albums weren’t as widely available as they should’ve been.
After releasing three studio records in three years, R.E.M. went to work on the fourth. Lifes Rich Pagent (there’s no apostrophe because Stipe hates them, apparently), the title taken from an Inspector Clouseau line from the second Pink Panther movie, A Shot In The Dark, was mainly a leftovers album. Most of the material was comprised of discarded, unused tracks from earlier album sessions.
While rehearsing in their Athens headquarters on Clayton St., Stipe noticed Mills & Buck fiddling around with a song he didn’t recognize. But he liked what he was hearing. A little short on original songs for the new record, a cover would be one less space to fill.
“Michael didn’t know the words,” Buck later said as recounted in the 1997 book It Crawled From The South: An REM Companion, “so we said, ‘Mike [Mills], you sing lead and Michael [Stipe], you sing exactly what he sings a couple of seconds afterwards.”
(I Am) Superman, that old Clique B-Side, would mark the first time a cover would appear on an REM release. Despite being excluded from all but two of their greatest hits packages (it only surfaced on the IRS releases Singles Collected and the double-disc version of And I Feel Fine…), little did anyone know the remarkable longevity it would go on to enjoy.
On March 8, 1986, during their first ever gig christening the new 40 Watt Club in Athens, the band debuted their new cover. They would continue playing it on numerous shows throughout the rest of the year and into 1987.
Unlisted as the 12th and final track on Pagent (after the original plan for it to be its own B-side was cancelled), the song would also be released as a single on November 3, 1986, three months after the album. The sleeve cover for the 45 features a sketch of an unknown baby, credited to a mysterious Kaleb, a curious Superman reference. On the back cover, it announces the song’s inclusion on the album without noting its unlisted status.
The song begins most unusually. A toy starts screaming in Japanese before Buck kicks in with that catchy hook. When the band toured Japan two years earlier, they picked up a talking Godzilla doll, the kind that you pull with a cord in order to activate its voice. It became a mascot of sorts for a time, often resting on a guitar amp.
Because the movie Godzilla only let out that now iconic scream, the words are actually from a breathless, unknown journalist warning his fellow citizens of the impending danger. This is what he’s saying in English:
“This is a special news report. Godzilla has been sighted in Tokyo Bay. The attack on it by the Self-Defense Force has been useless. He is heading towards the city. AAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!!!”
For the most part, R.E.M doesn’t deviate too much from The Clique’s original. Although Buck’s opening lick offers a few more notes than the B-Side’s single-chord introduction, therefore actually improving it, the basic arrangement is roughly the same, even the little instrumental break before the last set of words. (Both cuts feature a prominent organ during that section.) Only the ending is different. The Clique fades out while R.E.M. stops cold with Buck’s final strum ringing out.
Randy Shaw’s nasally vocals are far more ghostly and buried, but unlike R.E.M.’s remake there is no delayed echo response to every line of the chorus, just direct harmonizing on the last two words of each (“what’s happening” and “do anything”). For the verses, The Clique have the chorus sung at the exact same time resulting in a cluttered feel, making some of the words difficult to ascertain unless you already know them. R.E.M. wisely dropped this distractingly layered approach. In their version, you just hear Mills going high and Stipe going low as they harmonize the verses. Still, you can see why Buck liked the song so much. Despite its creepy stalker lyrics, fairly typical of the era (think The Who’s I Can See For Miles), it’s undeniably hooky.
(I Am) Superman would be slotted in as the last song on Lifes Rich Pagent (it’s track 6 on the “Supper Side” of the LP version) but it was deliberately unlisted on the album’s back cover. (The label side of the actual CD does list it, as does the vinyl edition, simply as Superman, in this case as track 12.) A quick perusal of the liner notes explains something peculiar about the outside track listing.
Right under Swan Swan H is a mysterious “+” sign followed by “___________________”.
When you flip open to the first panel of the liner notes on the left, the first thing you’ll note in capital letters is this:
“ALL SONGS BERRY BUCK MILLS STIPE.”
But right under all the publishing information you’ll see not everything on the album is an original composition. You’ll see “EXCEPT” in slightly smaller block letters followed by that same plus sign and now a much longer line right underneath them.
In the middle of the panel, just below the snail mail information and the gag about a “cricket machine” museum exhibit, you’ll learn who actually wrote Superman. (The label side of the CD itself reprints the same information.)
Alan Zekley, who preferred to be called by his middle name Gary, was a California native who pitched songs he wrote to bands he hoped to produce. (He had his own solo single, Other Towns, Other Girls in 1963.) After writing Superman with Mitch Bottler, Zekley ultimately convinced the members of The Clique to record it.
Eight seconds of silence separates Swan Swan H, the last credited song and this hidden cover tune. According to Peter Buck, as recounted in It Crawled From The South, it just made sense to put some distance between the two:
“Here’s this record and you’ve gone through it and the songs are pretty varied and kinda serious, and there’s this joyous end. It’s kinda dumb and enjoyable. I love it!”
When promoting Lifes Rich Pagent during press interviews at the time, there was a hope on the part of the band to meet the surviving members of The Clique. Unfortunately, they were not so easy to track down now.
But Chuck Fieldman, an entertainment reporter for the Chicago Tribune, managed to locate Zekley through the publisher of the song R.E.M. was about to make famous. Long out of the music business (according to this, his last credit appears to be from 1974), The Clique’s former producer was found working for Texas Instruments in Los Angeles.
Thrilled to bits that this rising college rock band was covering one of his old forgotten songs, he was very eager to meet them. He saw Martha Quinn on MTV talking it up and was already hearing the song on the radio.
As a surprise, having caught the earliest flight he could, he traveled from California to the other side of the country for their first face-to-face encounter backstage before a gig. So happy to see him, the band wanted to return their appreciation by giving him a chance to shine in a way he never had before.
On October 26, less than two weeks before the 45 would appear in stores, R.E.M. played a show in the college town of De Kalb, Illinois. Just before they played Superman that night, Zekley was introduced by Mike Mills and brought out on stage. A bootleg video of the moment posted on YouTube shows an overjoyed Zekley singing back-up with Michael Stipe, enthusiastically dancing on the spot and banging a tambourine with a great deal of delight.
He had so much fun, he came back to do it all over again on November 6 during a show at the Felt Forum in New York City, three days after the Superman single became available for purchase.
Seizing an opportunity, IRS Records rushed out a press release entitled “‘Superman’ Writer Comes Forward, Joins R.E.M. On Stage” where Zekley offers high praise for R.E.M.’s cover:
“They did it the way I did it. They did the hell out of it. It speaks to me.”
Radio broadcasters agreed. Well, at least the ones programming rock stations. While it never cracked Billboard’s Hot 100 (Fall On Me, the first single from Lifes Rich Pagent, at least hit 94), R.E.M.’s version of Superman would be added to numerous playlists in North America. As a result, it peaked at #17 on Billboard’s Mainstream Rock Tracks chart.
And while those same stations played Fall On Me far more often (before The One I Love, it was their highest charting single climbing into the Top 5), (I Am) Superman has had a surprisingly long shelf life long after its original unveiling.
In Tempus, Anyone?, the fourteenth episode of the third season of Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman which first aired in 1996, near the half hour mark, the song is heard for just over two minutes. Unfortunately, a knock-off version was substituted for the DVD box set.
Almost fourteen and a half minutes into Dynamic Duets, the seventh episode of the fourth season of Glee which debuted in 2012, romantic rivals Ryder and Jake, dressed as fake Supermen named Mega Studs, compete for the affection of a clearly flattered Marley while doing a slightly sped up redo of the song during a rehearsal for sectionals. Superman comes to an abrupt end 82 seconds later when a fed up Jake slugs the guy he’ll inevitably make peace with right in the kisser. (With a newfound confidence, near the end of the episode, Marley asks out Jake who maybe didn’t blow it after all.)
In the final scene of Superdad, the eighth episode of The Jim Gaffigan Show which aired in 2015, R.E.M.’s cover of Superman plays just as the comedian accidentally locks himself out of his apartment after taking out the garbage in his underwear.
Superman has also become an unlikely jock jam, especially during playoff games on TV. On May 10, 2003, the song was played in the XCEL Center during the first Overtime of Game 1 of the Conference Final Series between the Minnesota Wild and the Anaheim Mighty Ducks. (The Ducks finally scored the only goal of the game in the second overtime in what became the first of four straight victories.)
On June 17, 2008, after Kobe Bryant drained a succession of three-pointers during Game 6 of the NBA Finals between his Los Angeles Lakers and their longtime rivals the Boston Celtics, Superman was played as the TV outro music going into a commercial break. (It was all for naught. The Celtics easily won 131-92, securing their 17th championship.)
Although there was no official video for the track, YouTube is loaded with tributes. One clip pairs the song with scenes from the disappointing Superman Returns, doubling as an unofficial trailer. Another incorporates various clips from numerous Superman shows and movies, including the vintage noirish Max Fleischer cartoons and shots of the best Man Of Steel Christopher Reeve.
Lifes Rich Pagent would be R.E.M.’s most successful IRS album until the release of Document in 1987 when they scored their first legitimate Top 10 single on Billboard. The following year, they made the jump to Warner Bros., released numerous multi-platinum blockbusters and never looked back.
As for Gary Zekley, tragically, he would not get to fully enjoy all the tributes and commercial uses of his once ignored song. He died of a heart attack in 1996. He was only 53.
Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Friday, October 7, 2022
4:00 a.m.