Murderer-In-Chief

I have the authority to erase them all
There are no limits to what I can do
Conventions and laws don’t apply to me
Only to those with an opposing view

It must suck for them to have such a stubborn conscience
Raising such a fuss only gets them in trouble
I’ll destroy their lives for as long as they complain
While I bury the defenseless in a pile of rubble

How dare they protest my campaign of terror?
There’s just no room for any dissention here
They should follow the sheep and support the cause
Or get ready to embrace a lifetime of fear

I never need proof of a man’s guilt
I just yell “terrorist” and the charge will stick
Once I wipe him out, the celebration begins
Never mind those losers who call my actions sick

So what if my policies increase the resentment
Of a hostile population that wants to be left alone
Who cares about the men, women and children I’ve killed?
Aren’t they aware of my heart of stone?

It’s their own fault for getting in the way
Of drones and bombs and automatic guns
That surround them on a daily basis
This is how I collect my re-election funds

I’m thankful to the other side for pretending I’m weak
And scared to death of standing up to “tyranny”
When all the evidence proves the opposite
It’s a wonder there hasn’t been a public mutiny

But the lack of outrage is what I want
So the horrors I unleash will continue unabated
Innocent civilians can continue to suffer
While my ignorant fans remain helplessly infatuated

They can laugh uproariously at my inappropriate jokes
Swoon contentedly at my soulful singing
Falsely believe that I’ve brought them change
When the reality is far more stinging

Their collective denial suits my agenda
No matter what I do, they’ll always defend it
The pile of corpses grows ever higher
There’s really no pressure to end it

But you know what’s funny about this whole situation?
You know what my critics find truly perverse?
If the voters wake up in November and toss me out
There’s a good chance the new guy will be even worse

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Sunday, April 29, 2012
7:54 p.m.

The Dead Of Night

I feel it most in the dead of night
The onslaught of pain that’s impossible to fight
A tidal wave of terror rips through my soul
An unfolding tragedy beyond my control

Laying there motionless with nothing but time
Saddened by the plummet after an agonizing climb
Paralyzed with guilt, the kind that just won’t leave
Pent up with so much frustration you would not believe

Thwarted by a dilemma of impossible doom
The depression swimming endlessly in this suffocating room
Intensifying the loathing that’s been building for years
Replacing all that passion with unrelenting fears

Feeling so isolated and completely disconnected
A hibernating monster who lives undetected
Fiercely struggling with the unbearable truth
That all my best days were left behind in my youth

Confined to a state of demented design
The only witness to a precipitous decline
Long severed ties from the world out there
When thinking of its inhabitants, I can’t help but glare

I attempted to reach out in search of support
But there was no interest, I’m unhappy to report
All those chances to impress but I always choked
My accessing privileges have long been revoked

There hasn’t been a moment where I haven’t thought
About the hardest lesson this life has taught
You can act and speak in the friendliest tone
And still end up feeling so very alone

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Saturday, April 21, 2012
5:03 p.m.

That’s A Moron

(With all apologies to Harry Warren, Jack Brooks and Dean Martin, what follows is a heartfelt tribute to Rush Limbaugh.)

In old D.C., she testified
He was upset
For three straight days

When you call her a slut
And she’s anything but
That’s a moron
When the world seems to think
Your dumb thoughts they do stink
That’s a moron

Words do sting
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
And right now you’re failing
Fatal flaw
Blah blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah blah
All your sponsors are bailing

When you act like a tool
And get taken to school
That’s a moron
And it wasn’t a fluke
You got called on your puke
You’re a dope

When you talk out your ass
But you know you’re outclassed and there’s no one
Who’ll defend you my friend
And you can’t comprehend, that’s a moron

When you can’t quite take back
Your relentless attack
That’s a moron (that’s a moron)

When you stubbornly stew
Like a fat tub of goo
That’s a moron (that’s a moron)

Kiss my ring
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Ding-a-ling-a-ling
Right between my butt cheeks
(‘tween my butt, ‘tween my butt cheeks)
Please withdraw
La la la la la
La la la la la
Cuz you’re sailing up shit’s creek
Goddamn web geeks!

When she didn’t back down
And you looked like a clown
That’s a moron (that’s a moron)
When you don’t understand
That you’re not being banned
You’re a turd

When you lie out your ass
But you know you’re outclassed and there’s no one
Who’ll defend you my friend
And you can’t comprehend
That’s a moron

A moron, that’s a moron

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Saturday, April 14, 2012
9:07 p.m.

Married To Fear

She dreads the sound of his key entering the lock
As it slowly turns she looks nervously at the clock
Yet another nightmare is about to unfold
For the accomplished woman with the heart of gold

She’s made every excuse for why she stays
And why she continues to tolerate his despicable ways
So many are willing to release her from hell
But will she finally reach out?  It’s hard to tell

They met at a function so long ago
He charmed her so fast she couldn’t say no
That fateful night he planted the seed
She had no idea how soon he’d make her bleed

While she ascended the ranks of the corporate ladder
His own lack of progress just made him madder
He first shielded his rage with a calmer demeanour
But it wouldn’t be long before he began to demean her

It started with cruel jokes that just weren’t funny
He feels threatened by her success and all her money
He blames her repeatedly for his vindictive attitude
He has long stopped showing her any sense of gratitude

He mocks her sculpted body by calling her fat
Tells her she’s nothing but an overrated bureaucrat
He hammers away at even her smallest flaws
These hurtful diatribes frequently give her pause

The verbal assaults quickly became physical
This escalation of terror has left her feeling quizzical
How did this man reach the devastating conclusion
That dominating her entire life was an ideal solution?

And now she’s trapped in an open jail
A target of hatred by a paranoid male
Once a humanitarian and a volunteer of the year
She now clings to life married to fear

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Thursday, April 12, 2012
11:27 p.m.

Mass Seduction

She once wore her passion like a blinding sheen
Now I can feel her sadness right through the screen
Desperate to suppress the rage boiling from within
Her instability cloaked by her impossibly perfect skin

She was once full of life and felt so strong
Hot sex on two legs in a golden thong
The centre of attention wherever she went
Seducing the masses her only intent

But it was an empty existence full of regret
Her sole identity in life:  a delicious pet
She felt limited by her tremendous physical appeal
A bubble of euphoria blocking out the real

Once it burst the pain flowed through
And no amount of pleasure would ever do
It all became perfunctory and grossly routine
Unemotional attachment to an empty scene

With the glory days now passed she lives all alone
When she pauses to reflect she can’t help but groan
So many bad decisions in such a short time
Was she the victim of her very own crime?

The internal loathing is at a fever pitch
If only she were an ugly, cantankerous bitch
But despite the resentment aimed at her users
Her sweetness was never sullied by those transparent losers

But the aching overtakes her on even her best days
And she doesn’t have the tools to change her broken ways
So she finds herself stuck in the same old rut
Hemorrhaging ecstasy and nothing but

Try as she may she can’t release the fear
That she will never again have an amazing year
One that can thrust her into a happier place
Where the good ones notice she’s much more than a pretty face

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
4:13 p.m.

Unanswered Questions About The Trayvon Martin Case

1. Where is George Zimmerman?

2. Why hasn’t he been arrested for killing Trayvon Martin?

3. Has he been officially stripped of his Neighbourhood Watch coordinator position in Sanford, Florida?

4. Why did he view Martin, a 17-year-old kid who was talking to his friend on his cell phone while returning from a local variety store en route to his dad’s place, with suspicion on February 26, the night of the killing?

5. Did Zimmerman ever encounter Martin while on the job or otherwise before that night?

6. Did he first talk to Martin on February 26 while still in his vehicle?

7. When did he exit his car in order to confront Martin?

8. Who made the first move regarding physical contact in their face-to-face confrontation?

9. Why did Zimmerman follow Martin when the 911 operator specifically instructed him not to?

10. How did Zimmerman sustain that gash and goose egg on his head?

11. Why did he shoot an unarmed kid?

12. How much evidence did the Sanford Police Department in Florida actually collect from Zimmerman and the scene of the crime?

13. How much did Zimmerman and Martin each weigh at the time of the killing?

14. How many times overall has Zimmerman called 911 since becoming a Neighbourhood Watch coordinator and over what period of time?

15. Has Zimmerman ever fired his gun in any similiar situation while on duty before February 26 of this year?

16. Have there been any documented complaints against Zimmerman while he was being a volunteer Neighbourhood Watch coordinator in the past?

17. How does Florida’s unloved “Stand Your Ground” law apply to this case, if at all?

18. Was Zimmerman given a thorough background check before becoming a Neighbourhood Watch coordinator?

19. Who gave him this volunteer position?

20. How long has he been a Neighbourhood Watch coordinator?

21. What legal authority, if any, does a Neighbourhood Watch coordinator have while on patrol?

22. Is it possible for Zimmerman to get a fair and honest trial in Florida considering the flood of media reports day in day out?

23. Is there enough physical evidence to convict him of a possible second degree manslaughter charge?

24. If there isn’t, how difficult would it be for the prosecution to obtain a guilty verdict?

25. If the evidence in a possible trial corroborates Zimmerman’s claim of self-defense beyond a reasonable doubt, will Martin’s family and supporters accept a possible not guilty verdict?

26. Did Zimmerman utter a racial epithet on one particular 911 call?   If not, what did he actually say?

27. Who was screaming on another 911 call?

28. Why weren’t certain eyewitnesses interviewed by the Sanford PD in the immediate aftermath of the killing?

29. Can the embattled department be trusted to properly solve this case?

30. Will this case lead to the striking down of any or all state “Stand Your Ground” laws?

31. Since the National Rifle Association endorsed and campaigned for “Stand Your Ground” several years ago, has the growing outrage over the law and this open case weakened their considerable political lobbying power?

32. Why does MSNBC, specifically Rev. Al Sharpton and Lawrence O’Donnell, continually mislead their viewers with misinformation about particulars of the case, specifically elements that are still in dispute?

33. Speaking of Sharpton, how can he be an on-air commentator and an advocate for Martin’s parents simultaneously?  Is that not a conflict of interest?

34. Why did Zimmerman contact Sean Hannity of Fox News?

35. Why did Zimmerman try to get in touch with the prosecution without consulting his lawyers beforehand?

36. Why did Zimmerman stop communicating with his recently resigned legal team?  Who will represent him now?

37. Why did The New Black Panther Party think it was a good idea to put a bounty on Zimmerman’s head?

38. Will they come to their senses and cancel it?

39. Why won’t the prosecution convene a grand jury?

40. Will there be justice for Trayvon Martin?

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
12:52 a.m.

UPDATE:  Zimmerman is in Florida in the custody of law enforcement after turning himself in.  He’s charged with second degree murder, the most serious possible charge that can be laid without involving a grand jury.  If convicted, he faces a maximum sentence of life in prison.  He’s being held without bail.  Also, he has new legal representation in the form of Mark O’Mara.  So some of the questions posed in this piece have thankfully been answered.  Speaking of unanswered questions, here’s another one:  how did Zimmerman get a bloody nose the night of Martin’s killing?

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
10:52 p.m.

UPDATE 2 & CORRECTION:  Rachel Jeantel, the last person to talk to Trayvon Martin before he was killed, was actually his friend, not his girlfriend as originally stated here.  (I didn’t mention her name in the piece.)  The correction has been made to number 4.  My apologies for the mistake.

Now that the trial has concluded, we can now resolve quite a few of these unanswered questions.  Regarding number five, the answer is no, Zimmerman didn’t encounter Martin before the night of the killing.  As for number six, no, he didn’t talk to Martin while still in his car.  Moving on to seven, Zimmerman exited his car while in the middle of a 911 call when he saw Martin running.  This happened between 7:09 and 7:13 p.m.  It was during the foot chase that the dispatcher told him that he didn’t need to follow the teenager, not while he was still in his vehicle.  Zimmerman said, “Ok” and apparently stopped running to continue the conversation before hanging up a short while later.  This means that question number nine, unfortunately, is misleading and doesn’t require an answer at all.  If there was another chase, it hasn’t been mentioned.

The answer to number twelve is police took Zimmerman’s gun (contrary to what was reported endlessly on MSNBC), his clothing and his car, plus Martin’s clothing and all the items he had on him at the time, including the stuff he had just bought from the variety store.  On to thirteen:  Zimmerman weighed 185 pounds and Martin weighed 158 pounds that night.  The answer to fourteen is Zimmerman called 911 seven times over an 18-month period.  The answer to fifteen is no, he never shot anyone before.  The answer to sixteen is no, prior to the Martin killing, there were no documented complaints about his actions as a Neighbourhood Watch volunteer.  As for seventeen, Stand Your Ground didn’t really play much of a role in the case although, curiously, it was mentioned in the jury instructions.

Number nineteen:  Zimmerman was given the volunteer gig by the attending residents of The Retreat at Twin Lakes during a Neighbourhood Watch meeting in September 2011.  Twenty:  He had the job for about a year and a half.  Twenty-one:  a Neighbourhood Watchman can call 911 in the case of an emergency and carry a licensed firearm even though the Florida police department doesn’t encourage this.  The answer to twenty-two, based on the verdict, is an obvious yes.  Twenty-three turned out to be a no and obviously the answer to twenty-four is “very difficult”.  Judging by all the protests, the not guilty verdict, once speculated in question twenty-five, is a resounding no.  Many feel Zimmerman got away with either murder or manslaughter, depending on who you talk to.  Regarding question twenty-six, no, Zimmerman didn’t utter a racial epithet, at least not on one particular 911 call.  He said “fucking punks”, not “fucking coons”.

As for question forty, the answer so far is no.  But with wrongful death lawsuits and a re-opened Department Of Justice investigation pending, that might change.

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Thursday, July 18, 2013
3:08 a.m.

Breakthrough

One breakthrough away from making your name
One triumph away from staking your claim
One hit away from quaking the lame
One blockbuster away from breaking the game

One decision away to make them all drop
One choice away to rise to the top
One push away to cease being a flop
One shove away to make it all pop

One thought away from reaching your goal
One notion away from feeding your soul
One moment away from escaping the dole
One concept away from knowing your role

One motion away from getting that call
One plan away to showcase your gaul
One concept away from owning a new sprawl
One click away from having it all

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Monday, April 9, 2012
4:37 p.m.

Encino Man

What is it with this cinematic obsession with high school popularity?  Why does it matter so much to the outcasts in movies what “the cool kids” think of them?  What is it they feel they’re missing out on by not being accepted by the temporary elite?

In Encino Man, Sean Astin plays a self-centered high school senior who is absolutely convinced that being invisible is the worst possible feeling in the world.  (It isn’t.  Trust me.)  As his final year wraps up, he vows to have some kind of breakthrough, one that will allow him to leave some kind of legendary legacy behind, whatever that entails.  His only friend is the deeply annoying Pauly Shore, a hipster doofus with a scooter who dresses twenty years out of style and talks like a punch drunk valley dude who sometimes pauses before finishing a one-syllable word.

Astin is obsessed with Megan Ward, a fellow student he’s known his entire life but never cared about until her recent acceptance into “babehood”.  His transparent shallowness might be the reason he doesn’t stand a chance with her.  Then again, she is dating Michael DeLuise, a hockey goon with a Vanilla Ice haircut who delights in bullying him.  (He’s easily threatened by other potential suitors.)  At one point, he literally staples Astin to a school bulletin board, writes “loser” on his forehead, then pulls the fire alarm so the student body can get a cheap laugh.

Astin’s luck changes when he stumbles upon an amazing discovery in his family’s backyard.  While continuing to shovel out dirt for the purpose of installing a new swimming pool, he unearths a frozen caveman (Brendan Fraser).  In the real world, he’d be dead but because this is a teen fantasy, Fraser’s still very much alive.  In fact, he hasn’t aged a day from the moment an avalanche separated him from his lady love many moons ago.  Once he’s free from his glacial prison (how did he stay frozen in that California climate?), like a true fish out of water, he has a hard time adapting to his new surroundings.  Practically everything in the modern world freaks him out (with the notable exception of dance music).

Astin doesn’t care.  He finally has a plan to become popular.  By enrolling Fraser in his high school as a foreign exchange student from Estonia, Astin figures by being “friends” with the eccentric primitive (in other words, by constantly hanging around him in public) he can become popular by association as long as the student body warms to Fraser.  (Like Teen Wolf, another laughless comedy, the cleaned-up caveman makes friends very easily.)  Shore isn’t completely convinced this is a good idea (he actually likes hanging with the caveman and unlike Astin, is comfortable being himself) but begrudgingly he goes along with his desperate plan anyway.

Watching this movie it’s easy to understand why Astin is such a social outcast.  He’s a total knob.  He has no charm, no grace, no wit and no core values other than this sad need to be admired by a whole bunch of strangers he’s probably never going to see again following the prom and graduation.  (Will he still care what they think of him at the inevitable reunion?)  Not once does he mention his grades nor his future ambitions beyond wanting to be popular in college.  He’s literally a walking empty shell hoping to be filled with the emptiness of temporary celebrity.  It never occurs to him that maybe being a good, honest person with a happy disposition might be a better idea, particularly in the long run.  He just doesn’t think like a reasonable human being.  No one does in this pathetic excuse for a movie.

Meanwhile, Astin’s dream of taking Ward to the prom is looking bleaker by the second.  Despite breaking up with DeLuise and suddenly warming up to him (before, she merely tolerated him), she finds herself far more interested in Fraser who isn’t a self-conscious party pooper.  (During a bar scene when Ward asks Astin to dance, he actually turns her down by making a lame excuse.  Fraser, on the other hand, is happy to fill in.)  Even when she offers to take both Astin and Fraser to the prom (after the former whines about being passed over by the latter), he hangs up on her.  And this guy wants to be popular?

Not to be outdone, DeLuise learns the truth about Fraser which he hopes to share with his fellow graduates at the prom so he can become King instead of the cave dweller.  What are the chances they’ll give a rat’s ass?  And who gives a shit about being Prom King, anyway?

I first screened Encino Man at a local multiplex twenty years ago with a small group of friends not too long after I was elected the Student Council President of my own high school.  (Unfortunately, because we were a little late we missed part of the opening which always bothered me.  (Yes, I’m anal.)  Also, I’ve never been completely satisfied with my original assessment.  (I originally thought it was hit and miss.)  I don’t remember if I ever screened the movie again at that point in time hence this long overdue rescreening.)

It was a pretty exciting time in my life.  I had convinced a large group of my peers, most of whom I didn’t know very well, to vote me into the highest position of power a student can attain.  I had reached the highest level of popularity at my school, members of the football team notwithstanding.

However, instead of spending the summer preparing for the busiest year of my academic life, I lost myself at the movies.  By the time my final year of high school began, I was so unprepared for what was to come, the wave of reality hit me like an unstoppable locomotive.  It was a depressing period filled with deep uncertainty and, over time, severe regret.  (Check out Memories Of A Really Bad Student Council President Parts One through Eight on this website for the whole story.)

I can’t help but reflect on that awful period while thinking about Sean Astin’s character in Encino Man.  He is so misguided and delusional about his lot in life, much like myself twenty years ago.  Instead of building up his character and trying to win over people with good old-fashioned honest persuasion, he resorts to this extremely sad caveman scheme.  And for what?  To be remembered for a few fleeting moments and to win the affections of a girl who truly isn’t worth all the effort?

If I’m remembered at all by the student body of my high school, I hope the memories are positive and not at all about the Student Council debacle which I’m not proud of, for the most part.  But chances are, some will remember my painful, public failure in a way I wish they wouldn’t.  Thankfully, I’ve long made piece with that horrendous year of my life and have moved on.

Sean Astin’s character in Encino Man might get what he believes his heart truly desires in the end (which will be a complete surprise to absolutely no one) but in a more thoughtful inspired comedy with actual laughs (instead of 88 minutes of total silence this god awful disaster invokes), he would actually reach an unthinkable conclusion:

High school fame is the emptiest fame of all.

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Sunday, April 8, 2012
2:45 a.m.