I Always Have To Smile

Unwelcome encounters with assorted devils
Still feeling threatened on all sorts of levels
Everyone’s a suspect until proven innocent
Especially the ones who claim I’m magnificent

Everyday is filled with unwanted advances
Outright refusal? I won’t take my chances
So I walk a fine line & hope it all stops
It always feels worse when it comes from the cops

If I condemn their comments that are truly perverse
I’m a “stuck-up bitch”, a “cunt” or worse
I can’t run away or they will chase me down
I always have to smile, I can never frown

I can’t say no or I might get hurt
I won’t say yes as they tug at my shirt
I try not to show the disgust on my face
As I search in vain for a safer space

I reluctantly tolerate these “hilarious” jokes
And continue to feel uncomfortable around these folks
They won’t let up no matter what I do
So I control my reactions just to get through

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Wednesday, November 25, 2015
6:47p.m.

Absence Of Reason

Cursed with impulsiveness
Adrenalized by the fight
Angered by the injustice
Convinced you are right

The question was rhetorical
There was no need to answer
Self-righteous spontaneity
Is an incurable cancer

It arises out of nowhere
Awakened in a flash
Like a clumsy diver
Who enters with too much splash

It could have been avoided
Now she thinks you’re a sleaze
This impasse is likely permanent
A harsh Arctic freeze

Is he really guilty?
I expressed my doubts
And in a fiery instant
We are on the outs

We shouldn’t be so certain
Without further investigation
So many unanswered questions
Unavoidable complication

Both our doors are locked
And she will never budge
But I’m willing to reconsider
I no longer hold a grudge

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Saturday, November 21, 2015
2:11 a.m.

 

National Insecurity

Fueled by paranoia
Motivated by greed
Consumed with control
An insatiable need

Perpetual rage
Contemptible views
Astonished by the secrets
Reported in the news

Genuinely shocked
That not everyone agrees
Hopelessly attracted
To useless sleaze

Panicked by dissent
Growing from within
Listening to the warnings
With ears of tin

War is a racket
Paid for with blood
Their only disappointment
A bomb that’s a dud

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Sunday, November 8, 2015
2:17 p.m.

A Better Way To Feel Bad

It doesn’t go down as easy as it should
It punishes your mind with a flood of shame
A once jolting escape is now elusive and rare
Replaced with a routine so bitter and tame

Years slip by with every committed sip
Another wave of sorrow at the flick of your wrist
Conning yourself into drowning some more
Until your name gets added to the forgotten list

Burning it down when the water’s too deep
The enveloping smoke can’t smother your grief
But the fire inside doesn’t erase the proof
So you yearn for another kind of relief

You cook it before you shoot yourself in the arm
More powerful than a bullet from an actual gun
An emotional laceration too intense to endure
Your persistent past too frenetic to outrun

As your guilt awakens you seek shelter in her bed
One of hundreds you’ve victimized and then cast aside
The heights you reach, a temporary release
Repeat performances never restore your pride

You can’t move forward when you’ve always been still
You can’t be enlightened when you’ve always been had
There’s no comfort to be found in your broken truth
Still searching for a better way to feel bad

Dennis Earl
Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Sunday, November 8, 2015
4:09 a.m.